This is just an accumulation of ramblings from an old man who loves his family, friends and a few aquaintences.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Some days I wake up with what feels like a heavy heart. No specific thing is weighing me down, I just feel like I have those heavy lead blankets the dentist puts on you before he takes an xray of your teeth. A Heavy, heavy weight slowing my mind down. These mornings I go to Sacred Space, http://sacredspace.ie/ an Irish Jesuit prayer page. It always manages to lift my spirit.
These faithful believers have a way with words that seem to always penetrate my soul. I’m not sure how they do it. Their words are always what I need to hear.
Today, for instance, I woke up at 4:04 am with the rooster crowing. That is usually my signal that I need to pray about what is on my mind. I have a short list of people whom I pray for when God wakes me this way. Somehow in the middle of praying I fell back to sleep – Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. It was the alarm clock going off. 5AM. I got up and made coffee, started my Anthony Burger CD and sat down in my chair for a few minutes of quiet.
With the heavy blanket on my heart, I opened my netbook and tried a couple of pages to distract myself from the feelings I was having. Didn’t work. I opened Sacred Space and went through the prayer liturgy for today. What a blessing. 5 minutes is all it took and it seemed like I was singing. The heaviness was gone. I’m not sure what that heaviness was…don’t really care…God managed to help me get past it and start really living my life today.
Thank you, God, for giving us such resources like Sacred Space, to help those of us who need it. And, bless the people who pour their time and effort into such projects. Blessings on them!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
The time finally came and the great doors opened. The Great Hall ... filled with the royal courtiers and the kings servants ... awaited this monumental break in protocol. Who would dare break the scheduled cycle of the court? Who would put their life at such risk?
There she stood - the queen! How beautiful she was. What could have been so important that she would risk her life this way?
The king sees her and raises the royal septer granting her entrance and an invitation to approach the throne! Oh, what a long, long walk it is to the throne. But, with head held high the queen makes the most important walk of her life. First one foot, then the other, time after time, slowly and delibertly showing more strength with every step she moves through the royal court. Every step gives her more and more resolve that what she is doing must be done. She risked her life all for one night with the king (more on that in a little while).
You see, the queen saw that she needed to fight the evil cancer of unjustice, greed and power she saw in the kings confidants and advisers. Queen Esther put her life on the line for what? Nothing less than the lives of her people.
Is that story so much different that what we face today? The lives of our people, friends, families, coworkers? Am I willing to stand up against the evil of my time? Am I willing to make the long walk through the royal court for one night with the king so I might persuade him to change the way the country is going? To help him see that his policies are killing my people?
If given the chance would I take it?
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
In todays hustle and bustle it seems so hard to take time to stop and clear my head of all that is going on around me. There is always some new electronic gadget or program to learn, some noise maker to fill my life with sound and distraction from what is important - focusing on God and His love for me and you.
This morning I made an attempt at coping with uncluttering my mind and focusing on Him. It was a lot harder than I thought. I was thinking that I would skip jumping in the hot tub at 5AM like I usually do each morning, turn on some soft southing, restful music, plop down in my rocking chair and unfill my mind. The only problem is that I could not shut it down enough to start downloading. I could not find a way to decompress. It is like I'm stuck in the fast lane and cannot get over through all the other traffic to the slow lane so I can exit the roadway. My brain is engaged before my body is ready to even get to the starting line.
Lord, help me to find a way to start each day with you and find a way to force the world and all its distractions out of my life for a few moments each morning so I may quietly commune with you. Lord, help me slow down and think on you and your word each morning. Help me to find a way to quietly listen for and to your quiet voice. I need your word and direction in my life - more now than ever before.
Thank you Lord, thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for waiting quietly and not giving up on me. Thank you for the occasional head slap. Thank you for ... well ... all you do for me. You provide blessing in my life and the lives of those around me. We have so much in the way of your blessing. Thank you.
Sunday, July 04, 2010
It's been just a little over a week since those little bacterial decided to find a new host - me! Three trips to the hospital for IV meds and pick line over a weekend was enough. I now have a paper bag with 57 syringes that will make for great fun with the grandchildren when it gets hot.
I still have about 8 days of oral antibiotics to take and I should be finished. Staff infections are not fun. However, I have learned how to program almost every appliance in the house, including the TV remote control. I was finally able to get it to operate the Comcast cable box. For some reason Samsun and Comcast are not too compatible but I managed to get it to work.
I think I'm going to clean the barn today. I do not feel like I have the energy for church and all those people in one assembly. I should be ready to go back next week.
Blessings,