It’s the Day Before Christmas–Why Am I So Sad?

It is the day before Christmas.  Why do I feel so sad, so depressed, do oppressed?  This should be a very happy time of year, yet, I feel overwhelmed with all that is going on in the world. 

I live in a relatively safe place.  Not much impacts my lifestyle and my day to day goings on other than the choices I make.  But there are many throughout the world for whom that is not the case.  They are oppressed and put down, some even threated with the ending of their lives by bullies and mad men. 

I’m beginning to  think it is all about control.  Control that is real or even perceived.  How do you combat that without armies at your disposal?  I want to beat the crap out of these power hungry morons.  Yet, I know that will not solve the problem.  It will only give me some fleeting sense of satisfaction that will last only for a short time.

What is my responsibility here?  I‘m guessing that this is the crux of my frustration, feelings of being overwhelmed and depression.  I really do not know WHAT my responsibility is. 

It is easy to ignore these issues for a time but they seem to come back again and again, never really leaving, just being hidden or covered up by other thoughts.  I’m hoping that by the time the new year comes I will be able to find some sort of answer.  I welcome your ideas.

Fear of the Puppy

We kept our two grandsons, ages 3 and 5, from Kansas City over night last night.  First time to stay with us without mom and dad.  Due to mom’s extreme allergies they have had very little access to puppies, cats and other live animals.

Just after mom and dad left for a night of alone time I opened the door to the garage and three medium sized dogs rushed by me to see who the new voices belonged to.  Immediately we had terrorized screaming from the other room.  I mean, climb the nearest lamp pole terror.  We had two very upset screaming kids looking for a place to hid from three dogs who wanted nothing less than to lick there faces.  Hands held high, stomachs sucked in, midriffs bare, extra high pitched voices, dancing and screaming along with flashing doggie tongues.  What a scene.

By bed time the boys were fighting to see who would get to sleep with which dog!  They hugged and petted them until the dogs were looking for places to hid.  Quite a change from just hours before. 

This morning both boys were looking for things in the kitchen that they could feed to the dogs.  I mean feed from their hands/fingers.  They thought it funny when they would get licked in the process.

Now, their challenge will be to get mom to cave in and allow a dog…not going to happen…EVER!

Help From Above

Father,

You are … well … you are High and Mighty … you are Loving and Caring … you are Honored and Worshiped.  You are … well … everything we are not.

I ask for your help in this mornings meeting.  It is not easy to go in and ask a customer for grace and compassion but that is exactly what we are preparing to do.  I ask that you would go ahead of us and prepare the way and that you would be beside us and hold us up – make us bold but not too bold – help us to be humble and yet stand for what is right and fair.

Father, we ask that you would go after us and protect us from sharp words and malicious oaths that might be directed at us.  Help us to represent you the best we can … and yet we implore you to act on our behalf.

We honor and adore you.  You are Great and our friend.

Am I Focusing on the Right Things?

Wow.  It is so easy to focus on things that should not matter and forget to focus on the things that do.  Setting priorities seems to be more difficult every day.

Does it really matter that I check my phone every hour for missed calls or text messages?  Does it matter that I check the litany of news sites for the latest news?  Is it really news I’m interested in or just gossip.

I mean, what really is important and what do I need to be focusing on?  Work ranks up towards the top – especially when I am at work.  Family should be up there too – but ???  What should I be focused on?  And, where does God fit in my day?

Most of my waking hours each week are spent at work or traveling to and from work.  What do I focus on for those hours?  What should I focus on during those hours?  My boss has one idea, I have an idea.  Who’s is right?

This is the conclusion I have come to:  focus on God for the commute to and from work.  My commute is about an hour and 15 minutes one way.  That gives me over 2-1/2 hours a day to focus on Him and what He wants in my life.  Much of that time is spent in quiet reflection and listening for His voice to speak to me.  It really helps to set my day both at work and in my home life.

Work means focusing on work.  There is no other way to say it.  I need to focus on my work responsibilities, employees and what the company needs from me.

Home is where I am able to focus on family.  My poor wife!  She gets what is left of my day and attention.  Usually it is not much.  Perhaps more grumbling and short conversations than hugs and kisses.   She likes to be hugged and told sweet things and I want to escape to some alone time, some fly tying or even some mind numbing TV.  She gets left out of my day pretty regularly.

I do like to spend my weekends focusing on family even when I would like to be alone, well, alone with her.  Just the two of us.  That happens perhaps one out of five weekends.  Not nearly often enough.

AND, I am able to focus on God on Sunday mornings as we attend church.  I love those times with Him.  But is that enough?  I think I know the answer and I’m not sure what to do about it.

Rough Week

Well, its been a rough week.  We just finished a very large job for a national customer.  It did not go as well as we had hoped.  We did finish…on time…and the customer is quite satisfied with our work.  They are even satisfied with our bill.  You see, we billed them what we had agreed to before we started work even though our costs far exceeded that amount.

This was a big project for us.  Almost a quarter of our yearly receipts in less than two months.  Loosing money on projects is never easy but as the numbers get bigger and have more zeros behind the decimal point the losses are all the more painful.

I have always said that I would rather loose money on a small job than on  a big one.  This is why.  However, with all this said, the Lord is blessing us.  I must remember to say thank you to Jesus.  Thank you Jesus for all you do for us.

YOU CAN TRUST HIM

He's the one who made you; it is He who made us and not we ourselves. The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament shows His handiwork. No means or measure can define His limitless love and no farseeing telescope can bring into visibility the coastline of His shoreless supply. I'M TELLING YOU TODAY YOU CAN TRUST HIM (AMEN)

No barrier can hinder Him from pouring out His blessing. He's enduringly strong and He's entirely sincere. He's eternally steadfast and He's immortally graceful. He's imperially powerful and He's impartially merciful. He's the greatest phenomenon that has ever crossed the horizon of this world. He's God's Son, He's the sinner's Savior, He's the centerpiece of civilization. I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU CHURCH, YOU CAN TRUST HIM! (AMEN)

He does not have to call for help and you can't confuse Him. He doesn't need you and He doesn't need me. He stands alone in the solitude of Himself. He's august and He's unique. He's unparalleled, He's unprecedented, He's supreme, He's preeminent, He's the loftiest idea in literature, He's the highest personality in philosophy, He's the supreme problem of higher criticism, He's the fundamental doctrine of true theology, He's the cardinal necessity of spiritual religion, He's the miracle of the age, He's the superlative of everything good you can call Him. I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU CHURCH, YOU CAN TRUST HIM! (AMEN)

He can satisfy all your needs, and He can do it simultaneously. He supplies strength for the weak and He's available for the tempted and the tried. He sympathizes and He sees. He guards and He guides, He heals the sick, He cleansed the Leper, He forgives sinners, He discharges debtors, He delivers the captives, He defends the feeble, He blesses the young, He regards the aged, He rewards the diligent, He beautifies the meek, I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU CHURCH, YOU CAN TRUST HIM! (AMEN)

He's the key to knowledge, He's the well spring of wisdom, He's the doorway of deliverance, He's the pathway of peace, He's the roadway of righteousness, He's the highway of holiness, He's the gateway to glory, YOU CAN TRUST IN HIM!

He's the master of the mighty, He's the captain of the conquers, He's the head of heroes, He's the leader of legislators, He's the overseer of the overcomers, He's the governor of the governors, He's the prince of princes, He's the king of kings, He's the Lord of lords, YOU... CAN... TRUST... HIM!!!

His office is manifold, His promise is sure, His life is matchless, His goodness is limitless, His mercy is everlasting, His love never changes, His word is enough, His grace is sufficient, His reign is righteous, His yoke is easy, His burden is light, I wish I could describe Him too you, He's indescribable because He's incomprehensible, He's irresistible because He's invincible. You can't get Him off your hands, you can't get Him off your mind, you can't outlive Him and you can't live without Him. Pilate couldn't stand it when he found he couldn't stop Him, and Pilate couldn't find any fault in Him. And the witnesses couldn't get their testimonies to agree and Herod couldn't kill Him, and death couldn't handle Him and thank God the grave couldn't hold Him. (AMEN)

There was nobody before Him and there will be nobody after Him. He has no predecessor, He'll have no successor, you can't impeach Him and He's not going to resign. YOU CAN TRUST HIM!!!

-S.M. Lockridge

The Pressure Cooker

It has been quite a run up to this week.  The pressure has been building for the last 5 weeks for a project we are doing at one of the local timber mills owned by a national timber supplier.  We have two weeks to go and a LOT of work to get completed during the Thanksgiving holiday season. 

As the pressure builds I’m finding that tempers get a little shorter and decisions are made much too quickly resulting in some regrettable decisions.  It is hard to slow everyone down enough to not slow production but to allow for better decision making.

My crew is 75 miles away working in a very noisy environment.  Phones ringing are not heard well with ear plugs inserted, logs clashing with the machinery and all the noise it generates.  Email works but I don’t want them checking it too often…work needs to get done.

I sit here in a somewhat quiet office and fret!  I have confidence in my crew and in their ability to get the work done but I’m nervous with their handling of the pressure and the resultant decisions.

Time to pray.  Well, I have been since the project started.  Time to pray again I guess.  Perhaps God likes to hear my voice…that is the conclusion I have come to.  Are you listening?

You Alone Are My Hearts Desire

During my hour long commute to work this morning I found myself humming and singing the words to a song we sing at church – “You Alone Are My Hearts Desire”.  This in itself is not too unusual since I regularly make the drive with the radio off.  What was so disturbing is the images that were flashing through my mind as I sang the song.  A new sports car, tools, play things, even a skimpily clothed woman.  These are not the images you would expect while singing a praise song.  The words of the song say, “You alone are my hearts desire and I long to worship you”.  Are these the things I long to worship?  Heaven forbid that they are!

I spent the remainder of my drive asking for forgiveness and making some feeble attempts at cleansing my mind.  The big problem for me is that once some of these images are seen they cannot be unseen.  Where is the “reset” button!

Father, please forgive me.  Forgive me Lord, well, for being me.  Not the me you want me to be but the me “I” sometimes want me to be.  Help me change and desire to be the me YOU want me to be.

Prayer for Little Brother

This was my Facebook post today:

Many of you know my youngest brother Dana Maxwell. He is having surgery today after suffering a heart attack. He had 5-way bypass surgery just a couple of months ago and we thought all was going to be well from there on out. Looks like one or more of the 5 stints have plugged up.

With all that said, we (Dana's family) would like to request your prayers for him today especially. We serve a VERY BIG God who can and does heal. God does not need our requests in order to act but He does lead us to prayer as a way for us to worship and praise Him. After that, prayer provides a way for us to stay in tune with and hear His heart.

"Lord, we praise and honor you for who you are and for what you have provided to all mankind...your son Jesus, the Christ, the Messiah. It is though Him that our, my, sins have been forgiven. Thank you Lord. Now Lord, we ask for your hand of healing for Dana today. Bless him and touch him. Guide the hands of all who are charged with his safe keeping, and Lord, bless them too, today. May all his caregivers go home wondering about the miraculous events that they saw unfold today. Amen."

I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of support for Dana.  Many of our friends and acquaintances have actually posted prayers!  Not just a promise to pray but actual prayers.  Oh how I needed to see that.  I’m going to send them to Dana when he gets well enough to spend some time with electronics again.  Maybe in a few days.

For those of you who did actually write something…thank you…from the bottom of my heart…thank you.  It has uplifted me probably more than Dana.

Blessings on you all. 

The LONG short Weekend

The Memorial Day weekend is now a memory and most of us are back to work.  Not a bad thing in my book. 

It was not a very restful weekend.  Kathleen and I did get to spend time with out son and granddaughter however.  It is always nice to have a little bit of 10-year old screaming in the yard.  Fun with the chickens and dogs and more fun with the  bubble wands we purchased at Walmart.

Jon and I went fishing on Sunday afternoon.  We found a really nice section of river to wade and both of us enjoyed our time on the water.  When we got home dinner was waiting – chili!  Nice end to a day of fishing.

Monday I spent most of the day in the barn.  Cleaning and cleaning and more cleaning.  It needed to be done and I truly do enjoy working in the barn.  It is my place to go when I need to be alone.  I could hear Jon and Sheri on the tractor.  Jon was teaching Sheri to drive!  Lots of giggles and yelling going on.  I did pray that they would miss the Jaguar but that was just about all.

The long part comes from looking forward to a long weekend with it just being K and me and then finding out that there will be other people around.  It does not matter who is around – that is not the issue – it does mater that someone is going to be around.  But, such is life.

Many times there are others in our lives who need to spend time with us.  Not so much that they need time with us as they need time with someone.  Someone with whom they feel safe and somewhere they can feel loved.  Life throws a lot of daggers and arrows at us and we just want a safe place to hide out. 

Me, I have a barn to go to.  Others need family.

And there in is the Long short weekend.

The Wonder of Worship

“It is beautiful to contemplate the nature of deity and to bask in His glory. This is really what worship is -- the adoring response of the creature to the infinite majesty of God.

While it presupposes submission to Him, worship, in its highest sense, is not supplication for needs, or even thanksgiving for blessings, but "the occupation of the soul with God Himself." Whatever the means -- preaching and hearing of the Word, celebration of the sacraments, singing of hymns, offering of prayers, quiet meditation -- the end of it all is the pure joy of magnifying the One who alone is worthy”.    Words by Robert E. Coleman

OK, there is not much more that I can add than to say that these words seem to really resonate with me.  So often – almost always – I forget to get lost in the wonder of the infinite majesty of God.  Why?  Why is it so easy to forget?  Is it because of all the distractions, the life events going on around us all the time?  Is it our preoccupation with “me” things?

Somehow I need to find a way to distance myself from the “things of life” and start spending much more time being preoccupied with the “things of God”. 

“LORD, you are the one whom I want to be occupied with.  I just don’t know how to make that happen.  Will you help me learn?  Will you help me find a way to excise out all the junk and distractions of my life and fill me with You?”  

Yes, I believe you will.

It Has Been A While

Wow.  I did not realize that my last post was in 2011.  I need to do better!  A lot has happened in the last few years.

My cancer scare is over…at least the surgeon said that they are confident that they got it all.  No chemo or other treatments needed.  Just regular checkups and lots of lab work.  They seem to want my blood every 3-4 months.  I told them once a year is fine with me.

I’m now on insulin.  Wow do I feel better.  Never imagined that one simple change could make me feel so much more like doing things.

Still doing my 2-3 fishing trips a year with Loren Ford from California.  We have been fishing together every year since about 1972.  That is almost 42 years.  Just about how long I have been married.  Oops, don’t let my wife see that statistic.

I should have some new stories to tell soon.  I will try to get them up in the next week or so.

In the mean time – Blessings on you!